*Spoiler alert: Do not continue reading if you are an avid Mad Men or Army Wives fan and have not yet watched last night's (April 1) episodes. Also, don't bother reading if you don't care about my opinions on these shows.
Also, I have no commentary on Games of Thrones season premiere because A. I don't have HBO and B. I'm a nice sister, so I'm waiting for my brother so we can watch it together.
*Update: We watched Games of Thrones. I still have no commentary because it was amazing, as expected, and true to the book (A Clash of Kings for you silly geese who should know better).
First of all, can we please have a moment of silence for Don Draper? I can't believe they killed him off the show, I mean took away his balls. You either loved him or hated him, and probably for the same reasons. He is a neutered version of his former self. He wants to stay in and go to bed early, he's nice to his wife, he hasn't groped another woman since he met/married (same thing) Megan. His balls have shrunk as much as Betty has gained weight, leading me to...
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| Fat Betty with a Band-Aid over her biopsy site. |
Apparently, Betty Draper-Francis and I are only going to ever have one thing in common: thyroid nodules. The show loved referring to it as a "node or a nodule" and a "tumor," but it is commonly referred to as a nodule, since they are so common and often benign. There was research done on cadavers, and lots (like my math?) of people die with harmless cyst-like growths on their thyroid. Your thyroid soaks up radiation like a sponge, so it can grow these things like Scott's grows grass. I was very pleased to hear the term "hypothyroidism" thrown around like "ad copy" and "drink" on Mad Men. I'm all about promoting awareness of thyroid disease, since I've battled it since early 2009 (I keep promising a post about this). My doctor did the exact same "test" every time I saw him - he'd say, "Tilt your head back and swallow. Swallow again." Only once did he ask me to do it a third time and I could read the panic in his eyes. Within a week, I was laying on an ultrasound table, planning my funeral and figuring out how I'd spend my last days. I never got cancer. Case in point: at least the show was statistically accurate by giving Betty the all-clear. Most nodules are nothing. It makes me wonder if a biopsy was the first true test back in the 60s. No one ever mentioned a blood test or an ultrasound, which would be done in that order if this had been set in the 1990s, 2000s or now.
Moving right along to Army Wives, AKA the train wreck. You know those shows that you hate, but you just can't stop watching? You feel left out if you hear others talking about them or if, for some odd reason, this relatively unknown show (in comparison) somehow makes headlines, so you tune in every week. Or, if you're me, you watch it online sometime in the following week because 10 p.m. on Sundays is just way too late. When are they going to cancel this show?! It's so bad! There is some huge, life-shattering event in every episode now. First a hurricane where one wife and her son escape certain death a matter of seconds before their car blows up and another wife is thrown across the room, suffering seemingly permanent brain damage and then makes a miraculous recovery. Then, an adopted child's secret HIV is revealed to the entire post by a psycho mother who's out to ruin his life. The episode ends with the head honcho's wife collapsing, and next week's previews show everyone crying and a doctor saying, "It's irreversible." I'm assuming she has a stroke or a brain tumor. Why would it be something as minor as her diabetes acting up or a head cold that left her off-balance? Why? Because it's Lifetime, people!
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