High Cookin'

I should be disallowed from any sort of food preparation while under the influence of painkillers. A few months ago, during my awesome second-degree sunburn, I took the Percocet I was prescribed for the excruciating pain. I vaguely remember wanting a hot dog and starting one on the grill. I burned one hot dog and two buns to charred, unrecognizable-ness, and never even left the grill. I think I eventually got one done, but I remember offering one to my dad and he was like, "Um, no thanks. I'll make one myself."

The spicy salad I couldn't eat.

Today, I suffered through six hours of work. I alternated between sitting on my hemorrhoid cushion (I did not know this cushion was also used for that and I am SO embarrassed to be carrying it around campus now) and standing, and finally gave in and told my boss I needed to home and take a pain pill. She is awesome, and understood. So I did just that. Around 6:30, I woke up still groggy from my drug-induced coma, and decided I was hungry. I had this brilliant idea to make a salad with blackened scallops. Fortunately, my dad just just taken two pork chops off the grill; one had my name on it. I still wanted salad, so I made a bed of baby spinach, shredded carrots, mozzarella cheese, and, I was about to add Catalina dressing and the pork, but saw the jar of salsa in the refrigerator and thought, "Hmm, that would be healthier and yummy." I saw HOT on the jar, and even though mild salsa makes me cry, I still thought it would be a good idea. I slathered it all over my pork and salad, too. I ate it in bed, because I still can't sit right. I took one bite and thought it was good. But by bite two, my mouth was on fire and I realized how bad this dinner was going to be. I poured myself a glass of my new favorite product (Horizon organic chocolate milk) but it still couldn't curb the heat. I eventually scraped all the salsa off the pork but the salad was ruined.

At least I didn't attempt blackened scallops. Hot oil and drugs don't mix, kids.

On a somewhat related note, I had to tell Blogger to add "Percocet" to my dictionary since I'll probably be writing about it quite a bit in the coming weeks.