Saturday, April 13, 2013

My Cholesterol Needs to Take a (Downhill) Hike

Want to be baffled? Then read on...

First of all, refresh your memory by reading out my annual physical in February. Yeah, numbers all over the place. So here are the steps I took at my physician's recommendation:
1. A bowl of low sugar oatmeal every morning with a tablespoon of ground flaxseed.
2. Six days a week of exercise.
3. Cut back on meat - I gave up all meat for five weeks. I couldn't make it through all of Lent, but I came within 10 days and still only ate meat a few times since then.
4. Limit dietary cholesterol - I ate a whole egg some mornings, or just egg whites other mornings. I still never came close to the 300mg/day limit my physician set even with the occasional slice of pizza, shrimp, or processed foods containing high amounts of cholesterol.
5. Reduce my beta blocker (propranolol) from 10mg/day to 5mg/day. This drug has been prescribed to me since February 2010 when I was diagnosed with Graves' disease to control my rapid heart rate. However, it is known to increase LDL (bad cholesterol), so I have been weaning off of it.
6. Increase intake of nuts, beans, olive oil, fish.
7. Decrease intake of sweets.

And what was the result eight weeks later? My total cholesterol went up by 14mg/dl. Are you f-ing kidding me?! I knew something was up as soon as my physician walked in the room. She gave me that, "Aw, too bad," look and said, "Well, at least your thyroid levels are good." Which was encouraging for about .2 seconds until I realized that they have been good before, but that never lasts for more than 6-8 weeks because my now-deceased thyroid is still a motherf****r.

The breakdown:

So, my triglycerides came down by a whopping 1mg/dl, but my HDL (good cholesterol) went down by 3.1 and my LDL went up by 17. How is that even possible, given all I've done to improve it?

Well, my physician and I are just as dumbfounded as you probably are.

My mom's side of the family has high cholesterol. However, almost everyone on my mom's side of the family has a poor diet and does not exercise that I am aware of. So I'm not going to accept that it's just genetics. It's bullsh*t is what it is.

I sat in her office and cried while she looked up every possible link between Graves' and radioactive iodine ablation and omeprazole and Synthroid and GI issues. Nothing.

So my options are 1. have a heart attack at 28 and croak. 2. start taking a statin. or 3. find other ways to lower my LDL. Taking a statin really is not an option as a woman of child-bearing age. Statins cause birth defects, in addition to a whole host of serious side effects on the individual as well. So my physician prescribed (well, recommended really, since it's OTC) 500mg/day of niacin, which is a B3 vitamin that has been proven to improve cholesterol. I am reading different articles on how it lowers LDL, and others about how it increases HDL. So I'm not really sure which it is, but I am willing to try anything that isn't a prescription drug. I've also decided to go meatless Monday-Friday lunchtime, and chill out on egg yolks and shrimp and other cholesterolly (yup, that's a word now) foods.

The niacin scares me a bit. It causes flushing, and is known to cause more extreme flushing in people with fair, sensitive skin. Not blushing, but flushing. Redness, itching, pure discomfort for anywhere from 15-30 minutes to two hours. So since I had three drinks (over the course of six hours, but still) last night trying to drown my sorrows, I decided it was best not to take the niacin, at least not for the first time, with alcohol in my system. I'll try it tonight.

I'm about as dejected as I could possibly be. This was the week from hell with work and my huge Junior League project being tossed out because of possible EPA violations and serious health risks. Not anything we did, but the organization with which we were planning to work, and there's no way in hell I was putting myself and my members at risk. It's unfortunate because it was six weeks of planning and going to take up my entire weekend - in a good way - but not anymore. Instead, I went out with a few of the ladies last night and have booked myself a $40 90-minute massage thanks to Groupon. I'm leaving shortly, because if I can't be making a difference in the community, at least I can try to ease away some of my stress because that ain't good for the ol' cholesterol levels either.

Oh, and for anyone who's counting, I've lost 11.2 pounds so far. I'm trying to end on positive notes whenever possible, since they seem to be few and far between lately. So there ya go.

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