Jillian Michaels is my Trainer

I never really watched The Biggest Loser before. I had seen a few episodes here and there, and I think I remember watching one of the finales a year ago or so. But I knew who Jillian Michaels was because when I started working on Sanibel, the girl I replaced (she was moving to the UK) mentioned her name like every five minutes. So I decided to check her out. In 2011, I acquired her 30-Day Shred and Yoga Meltdown DVDs. The latter was just too hard for me - I wasn't a yoga regular yet so trying to add cardio to yoga was insane. And the 30-Day Shred was doable, but once I got to Level 2 (of three), I was dying. I was also trying to do all of this while fighting with my thyroid, so it was really hard most days to even get out of bed and work nine hours, let alone do an intense workout. Every now and then, I get out the 30-Day Shred and do a workout, but never consistently.

That changes now. I started her Body Revolution on Sunday. It's a 90-day extreme weight loss program. I'm not going for "extreme" - slow and steady wins the weight loss game (not a race, to me) - but she is intense and inspiring. I know her style is too rough for some, but 14 years ago, my gymnastics coach molded me into someone who thrives on tough love when it comes to working out. He used to call me a baby and tell me he was going to make me wear diapers if I didn't man up and throw tumbling passes that scared me. And he wasn't kidding - he would have gone to the store and bought adult diapers and made me wear them if I didn't do what we both knew I was capable of doing.

Anyway, I completed Day 3 on Tuesday at 6:15 a.m. Of course, I set alarm for 5 a.m. but after hitting the snooze button once, bundling up, and taking the dogs for a walk in the (dusting of - not the 2-4" I was promised) snow, it was 5:45 before I finally hit "Play." So I decided unless I have something going on at night, workouts before dawn just ain't happening.

The program works like this for the first two weeks:
Day 1: phase 1 workout 1
Day 2: phase 1 workout 2
Day 3: cardio 1
Day 4: phase 1 workout 1
Day 5: phase 1 workout 2
Day 6: cardio 1
Day 7: rest day
Day 8: phase 1 workout 1
Day 9: phase 1 workout 2 (tonight)
Day 10: cardio 1
Day 11: phase 1 workout 1
Day 12: phase 1 workout 2
Day 13: cardio 1
Day 14: rest day

After two weeks, you go to the next phase, repeat that phase for two weeks, and so on.

I started on Sunday, so that means I'll always get Saturdays off. I'm not sure how I feel about that - Sunday is easier for me to workout since I refuse to do anything other than errands if I can help it, but it also might be nice to have an entire day with nothing to do. We'll see.

I will being updating on my progress regularly. Juls and I are trying to keep each A. motivated and B. in check, but it's hard when we're 90 miles apart and working out separately. I am also sticking to my 1,200 calorie daily limit, with one meal per week that doesn't count. Two weeks ago, it was dinner at Chili's with my mom. I had steak fajitas and a skinny margarita, followed by a glass of wine at a family party. Last week's cheat meal was dinner at Max Burger with the girls before our Junior League meeting. I can already tell my body can't handle these big, greasy meals as well anymore because I couldn't finish my 8 oz. burger and fries, and even still felt like crap for the next three hours until I started to digest. It was kinda nice to be affected by all that fat, grease, and sodium - it makes me not crave it nearly as much when I know how awful I'm going to feel if I overindulge. Last night I enjoyed a buffalo chicken wrap with fries (my weakness - can't you tell?) and two glasses of wine. And a cupcake that I made from scratch (frosting, too) - so no artificial ingredients or preservatives.

My weight numbers are private, but my goal is 35 pounds of weight loss which is what my physician recommended even though it would mean weighing less than I did before I got sick. I was really muscular but still a little overweight, so 35 is my magic number. I lost 5 pounds since starting this program and actually following the 1,200 calorie per day limit. I know it's best to only weigh myself once a week, but since I'm too curious to wait that long, I'm going to weigh myself daily but only record once a week. I also read that some people actually gain weight - scale weight but not actual body weight - when starting an intense fitness program because of the fluid that builds up to heal sore muscles. So my hope is that once my body adjusts to these newly awakened muscles and stops hurting all the time, the weight will start coming off more consistently.

I'm also working with my dietitian - as I have been since November - but sometimes I feel like we are just going in circles. Fortunately, insurance covers X amount of visits per year with no co-pay, so at the very least, I'm learning little tips and tricks here and there from her.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I returned my FitBit Zip. It really was just a pedometer that also gave you a running total of your TDEE and upped that number when you were running or walking, but since most of my exercise is not running or walking but other cardio and lots of strength, it wasn't doing anything for me. It was also wildly inaccurate, so I got my $50 back.

Note: this is a running total, so if you're reading this in the future, it will tell you how much weight 

I've lost as of the day you're reading it, not as of the day this was posted.

My Bipolar Thyroid

For those of you who have Graves' or understand it, or just like to follow my journey through it, you will be happy to know that I am back in euthyroid (normal thyroid) range.

Let's review this timeline again:
July 2009 - symptoms begin, Kelly is convinced she has a tapeworm based on eating buttloads of food yet losing weight by the day. She poops in a jar and doctor says she's fine. She enjoys this random & drastic weight loss.
February 2010 - Kelly ends up in ER after a resting heart rate of 150+ for more than 24 hours. Diagnosed with Graves' disease, and finds out it's one of the most severe cases her physician has ever seen.
February 2011 - Kelly swallows a radioactive pill that will eventually kill her thyroid.
August 2011 - Pill finally works. Kelly becomes hypOthyroid the same week her eyes bug out of her head.
August 2011-August 2012 - Kelly and her endocrinologists struggle to find the correct dose of Synthroid. First she becomes hypER and endocrinologist continues to lower dose every six weeks. After a three-month hiatus from doctor's appointments and bloodwork, Kelly finds out she is hypO again and needs a higher dose.
August 2012 - For the first time in a long time (3+ years), Kelly has achieved euthyroid - meaning her thyroid levels are normal.
October 2012 - Just kidding. Kelly is hypER again and needs a lower dose.
January 2013 - Back to normal. Stay on the same dose. Test again in two months.

image from theinfertilityvoice.com

What a roller coaster!

I just hope this lasts. I feel good. I haven't had a sinus infection since I took antibiotics for the one I got right before Christmas. I've avoided the flu/colds everyone else seems to have succumbed to. I've lost 2.5lbs this week by staying under a strict calorie limit and exercising every day - either running (I'm training for a 5K), ashtanga yoga, or stability ball workouts. I no longer need a gym to feel motivated to exercise because seeing that small number on the scale is all the motivation I need to keep going. On days like today, however, it would be nice to be able to get a run in somewhere indoors, but interval training on a treadmill is a b*tch and I'm simply too cheap to pay to use a treadmill. Like I've said before, I could always use the gym at work but I'm trying not to spend a single second more than 40 hours a week here. I also purchased a FitBit Zip, although it seems like a glorified pedometer unless I'm doing something wrong (in that case, please enlighten me in the comments section). It actually doesn't work all the time - sometimes failing to count a single step during a 60-second walk around my house - and I thought it would work sort of like a heart monitor, counting extra calories burned during workouts, but it doesn't. I guess I didn't really know what I was buying even though I'd been eyeing it for months.

Disaster Date

Didn't that used to be the name of a show? Where people purposely sabotaged their own dates to see how long the other person could endure, and if said person could put up with it long enough, they would win a bunch of money? I was convinced I was on that show Friday night, but sadly it ended with me driving home with no more or less money than I started out with that night.

Let me back up a few weeks and say I met someone and went on a few dates with him. I told my closest friends pretty early on that I was sure it wasn't going anywhere, but they convinced me that feelings grow and evolve and this other Hallmark crap, so I decided to give him and the "relationship" a chance.

I guess some red flags went off right away. He was divorced (I knew this from some investigative work) but it never came up. Which was fine, because the first few dates are too soon to talk about past relationships. But divorce and kids have always been deal breakers for me and I tell myself until I'm 30, I don't need to bend on those. He also went to an Ivy League for his bachelor's and his master's but mentioned how he's the most junior person at his job he recently started - sits at the front desk and answering the phones on top of his regular responsibilities. OK, fine. Some offices are really small and need someone to take that on. He also seemed to have unlimited free time - as is, no friends. But went to random dance classes and put up flyers offering guitar lessons to little kids. This is where I told myself to stop being a judgmental b*tch because pretty soon I'm going to be 45 with a bunch of cats, on an episode of Hoarders.

I have not enjoyed any of our dates but I haven't exactly suffered through them either. I have endured them while telling myself the first few can be awkward.

My 28 for 28 List

Author's note: Yes, I am totally copying Molly over at Wicked Cheap in Boston.

Since my birthday is in October, I'll be 28 for most of 2013. As I mentioned in my previous post, 2012 was a really difficult year for me, in many ways. So I want 2013 to be awesome. And with that wish, I know comes some personal responsibility  So I've decided to make a list of goals for my 28th year. These are not New Year's resolutions and it is not a bucket list. That gives me nine months to accomplish the following (in no particular order):

1. Run a 5K - I've only run one once...in 2009. I'm thinking about this one. I began my "couch-to-5K" training last night.
2. Use my scuba diving certification - for the first time since 2008. This could possibly be incorporated with #19.
3. Try 28 new recipes.
4. Host a dinner party - brunch is OK, too. Will be easier once #7 is accomplished.
5. Make 28 crafts I've pinned on Pinterest - at the time of this post, I had 60 pinned.
6. Pick up a second job or something else doing what I love but also making money - could be freelancing, making the shelves at Target look as OCD as I feel, or finally starting the event planning business a certain BFF and I have talked about.
7. Get my own place.
8. Lose at least 10 pounds - my health has made this impossible for the last three years but I'm determined to take the reins.
9. Keep a plant alive until I turn 29 - I will buy it before the end of January so that's eight months.
10. Pull an April Fool's prank - I've been wanting to do this for years but have been "too mature."
11. Use my cast iron skillet for nine different recipes.
12. Make dog treats for Rags at least once a month.
13. Take Rags to the dog park at least once a month, unless the dog therapist - I mean trainer - coming next week tells me otherwise.
14. Do more yoga.
15. Get a passport - using it is another story.
16. Travel to a state I've haven't been to yet - driving through doesn't count. This appears to be accomplishable February 21-24 when I travel to Dallas, Texas for a Junior League conference.
17. Donate blood - something else I haven't been allowed to do because of my thyroid.
18. Visit Niagara Falls.
19. Attend a home University of Florida football game - the plan is for the September 21 Tennessee game!
20. Acquire gear for backpacking and use it at least once.
21. Go hiking and/or kayaking nine times.
22. Watch every movie nominated for Oscars Best Picture (I've seen 1 of 9 - Django Unchained).
23. Read all of the 2013 fiction and nonfiction finalists for the National Book Award as well as the previous 15 years' worth of Pulitzer Prize Best Fiction winners.
24. Visit friends I haven't seen in a while, traveling to at least five cities to do so. Boston counts. So does incorporating #16.
25. This is kind of cheating, but I'd like to accomplish Fat Mum Slim's 20 Ordinary Things.
26. Go to a concert. Music was such a big part of my life for such a long time, but live music has really fallen off my list of priorities over the years.
27. Complete some sort of fast. I bought a juicer and still use it occasionally, but I really want to do, at the very least, a three-day juice fast. However, I'm addicted to my morning coffee so I'd need to wean off of it before doing the fast - it's the only reason my first (and only) fasting attempt failed.
28. Send someone a letter, for no real reason, other than to tell them how important they are in my life. I hesitated to include this one because I don't want everyone who doesn't receive this letter to feel left out or disappointed. You all know who you are. I just want to pick a random person, and brighten their day a little.

I wanted to add "keep a boyfriend" but that's selfish (maybe unrealistic?) and–in the grand scheme of things–not nearly as fun or motivating as the other 28. And those of you whom I love dearly know there's a 29th goal on here that is not for public consumption, but it's on there nonetheless.

Go Away, 2012

2012 was a long, difficult year for me. The year started off exciting. I rang in the new year with my best friend of 14 years, not knowing how much reconnecting we'd get to do over the next 12 months. As soon as I got back to Florida, I started interviewing for what would become my current job. I was offered the job on January 24, and accepted it right away. I was actually shaking when I walked into my boss' office near the end of the workday. I asked if he had a minute, and when I shut the door, I saw the panic on his face.

Everyone at work knew my family and (most of my) friends were here in New England, but I was very quiet about looking for a job as people usually are. Not that I every worried my employment was in danger, but I wanted to be respectful of my current employer. I miss that job every day. I don't necessarily miss all the people, but some, and I really miss almost everything about the job except for the fact that it was 1,500 miles from where I am supposed to be. I cried when I left my office for the last time, but I really had no idea at the time how much I would come to miss it.

Within two weeks (actually 13 days) of giving my notice, I was on the road with my dad, Rags, and whatever we could fit in every possible inch of my Corolla. We made it home in record time - leaving around 6 a.m. on a Wednesday and pulling into my driveway around 2 p.m. the next day.

Work was challenging at first - and I don't mean the tasks. I didn't tell anyone at my job in Florida, but I was only offered a part-time job at first. I was told it was because the last person didn't work out and they wanted to make sure I'd be a good fit before making me full time. It turns out that wasn't 100% accurate, and in order to become a full-time employee, I had to agree to basically do two separate jobs. Fortunately I still have only one boss and one office and one desk, but the second half of my job is not at all what I expected. The point is that I have a job, health insurance, lovely co-workers and OK colleagues, a roof over my head and gas in my tank.

My health was a whole other issue. I didn't have insurance at first - well I did, but it was a state-sponsored plan for people who only get paid so much (which I qualified for as part time). So I skipped three months of endocrinologist appointments. Big mistake when you have been going every six weeks for the last two years. When I finally went, my levels were all over the place and still continue to be to this day. But then I got to meet Dr. C who would later perform the most important surgery of my life (to date - hopefully the last major one ever) and get me one giant step closer to my old self.

So as I ring in 2013, I am one year older but a million times better than I was 365 days ago. And for that, I am thankful every single day.