Success!

Although it was Julia and Donny's party, I had a ton of fun helping to cook and bake beforehand, and be a good junior hostess by taking shots with anyone who offered. Which was many. But it was so much fun and so worth it. We missed Annie a lot, but it was really nice to catch up with old friends and see new ones again.

I will eventually post some shots of the food, which received lots of compliments. I only made Swedish meatballs and peanut butter balls and helped with a few other dishes, and only got to try a few things before they were either gone or I was too far gone to think about eating.

It was snowing and sleeting as soon as I got onto the highway to head down to my mom's for her family's Christmas party, and that combined with having the times mixed up (or rather, never being told a time) and having no possible way of making it on time, meant that I had to cancel. I was exhausted and couldn't fathom driving three hours in the blinding sleet. Instead, I went home and took an epic nap with Rags, woke up for the Patriots game and interfaith vigil/President's speech, and then went back to bed for what was far too short of a sleep before Monday morning arrived.

I'm so emotionally exhausted from everything that happened on Friday. I didn't know anyone personally, and I'm not a teacher and don't have kids, so I have not the slightest clue what anyone down there is going through. However, I've found myself sobbing on and off since I heard the news. This is one of those times that working for a Catholic school is really nice, because although I'm no longer practicing, the sense of community at a candlelight prayer vigil this morning was so comforting. I sat and cried for a while after the service. After everyone lit a candle, we were invited to take a name of one of the victims from the basket. I grabbed the first one my fingers found, and it was the principal. Her maiden name is my mom's maiden name, and although we don't know her family, my aunt (who's a genealogy whiz) said there were always two sets of the family with our last name, but they go back many generations. Nonetheless, it's still a strange coincidence that I picked her name. And honestly, I'm glad it wasn't a child. Seeing a six- or seven-year-old's name in my pocket every day would bring me to uncontrollable tears, whereas an adult who has lived a good life is a tiny bit easier to look at.

Oh, and in case you're keep track - I'm on my third sinus infection since October. It was exactly two weeks ago today that I was on day 4 of a sinus infection. Today, I am on day 4 of another sinus infection. This time I got smart and went to my doctor, who prescribed antibiotics and said if it happens again or doesn't clear up within a week, she wants a scan done of my face to see if there is something else going on in there. I'm freaking myself out because I have had pain and pressure in my eyes all week (the first symptoms before my eyes bulged out last year), but then again, I'm having pain and pressure everywhere from my neck up thanks to this sinus infection.

An Actual Christmas Party

In 2012, there are few parties actually labeled Christmas parties, but half the that I've been invited to are. My Junior League party on Monday was a holiday party, my best friend's party tomorrow night is a holiday cocktail party, but my three other parties are all legitimate Christmas parties because everyone attending is an assumed Catholic. Assumed here is the key word.

Tonight is our work Christmas party. Because this is a Catholic school, we can get away with a Christmas tree and saying "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays." In fact, it's expected. People even comment that the Catholicism on campus is too hidden. Fair enough, but not everyone who attends or works here is Catholic. You obviously don't have too big of a problem with Catholicism if you teach, work, or go to school here, but there are plenty of non-Catholics and even non-Christians.

Sunday is our family Christmas party. My mom's side of the family is big, and since we all tend to do our own thing with our individual families on Christmas day, it's always been tradition that we get together a week or two before Christmas to eat a big huge meal, exchange gifts, and take awkward family photos. This year will be the first time I'm able to attend since 2006–which was also how Thanksgiving was this year. We pick names out of a hat after Thanksgiving dinner and those names become our Secret Santas. It's a little boring and expected as most of us write down exactly one idea for a gift under $25, and I suggested we bring back the Yankee Swap idea but I wasn't vocal enough.

Then on Wednesday is our department Christmas party. We have so much fun here in our little office of four but we also work our behinds off, so we decided to do our own little thing at my boss' new condo. She loves to cook and insists we don't bring anything but ourselves, but I was always planning on buying small gifts for the three of them even if we didn't have a party, and my Bloomin' Onion Bread was such a hit (albeit a lot uglier than the original) at the Junior League party that I'm going to make it again...but give myself more time to make it pretty and less messy to eat.

I can't stay long at the party tonight. I've been up so late every night this week, including last weekend, that I crashed when I got home from work last night. I planned to get started on the baking for tomorrow, but I found myself a complete waste of life. I slept from about 6 till 9 p.m., got up to watch some Grey's and Jersey Shore, and then went right back to sleep. I cannot wait sleep in next weekend–my first opportunity in two weeks.

Again?

Well, it's official: I'm sick. Again. I got my flu shot like a good girl as soon as I was well enough after surgery to go back to work and my regular life. Thank goodness, because a few weeks later, my dad was sick as a dog with the flu and it lasted a loooong time. I ended up with a sinus infection as he was finally turning a corner, but I think the timing was just a coincidence.

When I saw Dr. S (ENT surgeon) right before Thanksgiving, he reminded me that the sinus issues could persist for a while. I also have the odds stacked against me, since is the first winter I've lived in New England since 2006-2007. And the fact that it goes from snowing to 60° overnight doesn't help - the weather has been so strange lately. And the climate isn't changing? Yeah, OK...

Monday morning I woke up feeling not so great. I figured it had something to do with the fact that I went out the previous Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights - which is way more than I usually go out in a three-week period, let alone a five-day period. I checked with Julia and neither of them are sick, so I think this is just what Dr. S was warning me about. It's the same thing as last month -  head/neck aches, sinus congestion, post-nasal drip, and a sore throat from all of the above that is worst when I first wake up in the morning. My NetiPot is getting so much mileage it's not even funny. The only difference this time around is that I'm not sneezing every 3 minutes like I was last time. Actually, I can't recall the last time I sneezed.

Speaking of sneezing...

Weekend Retreat

I had a fabulous weekend. I have been planning to go up to the Boston area for weeks now, and 12:30 p.m. on Friday had finally arrived. My best friend lives in Woburn, so I try to get out there once a month or so to visit and experience more culture than the Springfield area has to offer.

I knew it was going to be a good weekend when I hit absolutely zero traffic on the 90-mile trip. Granted, it was well before rush hour but usually there is some amount of traffic on either the Mass Pike or 95. Not this time! I arrived in record time and had a few hours to kill before we headed into the city for the Celtics game.

We found a rare metered parking spot across the street from the Garden (Gahden for you Southern folk), and so I just assumed metered was good and free. Well, until a certain time, meters need quarters to remain happy and I totally blame Julia, but we ended up with a $25 ticket - what it would've cost to park in a lot or garage. Oh well! We had dinner and drinks at The North Star, which so happens to be the official game-viewing location of the New England Gator Club (UF alumni living in the Boston area). I've never made it out to Boston for a game this year, but now that we know we're playing in a BCS bowl on Jan. 2, I might.

The game was great. The Celtics won, I enjoyed my first-ever NBA game (I really don't like professional basketball but I'll always cheer for my Boston teams), and I had a great time with friends.

When we woke up on Saturday morning there was a dusting of snow on the ground and more still falling. It was so pretty, but cold. We decided to bundle up and take Julia and Donny's dog Buster for a trail walk around a lake in Andover. It was such a gorgeous place with the snow and I took a ton of photos.

*Note: You can click on the photos to view the larger versions, and use your arrow keys to scroll through. I don't know why the formatting is messed up - get over it.



After our walk, we went out to lunch and went shopping. I got a few steals in the form of dresses for all my upcoming holiday parties. Later on, we eventually got cleaned up. Julia, her friend Laura, and I went out for a girls night at a bar where one of our friends works. The whole evening was totally comped, which saved us a crapload of money. We still gave her a good tip because we're awesome, but it's definitely the type of place I couldn't normally afford.

I planned to leave when I woke up on Sunday morning like I always do. I missed Rags and have a rule about being lazy but at home on Sundays. Instead, I slept in later than I have in months. I'm sure the five drinks Saturday night had something to do with it, as did their insanely comfortable guest bed and down comforter, but I think my body was telling me something so I just went with it. I ended up staying until dark (which is now 4 p.m.) after the Patriots game, and was blessed again to not have any traffic on the drive home.

I'm already counting down the days until I go back in two weeks for their holiday cocktail party, and since I get a week-and-a-half off for Christmas and New Years (thank you, Catholics!), I'll probably go back up again then, but this time possibly with Rags in tow. The first time he met Buster, he also met Julia's parent's dog, Teddy, and they really hit it off. Buster barked a lot and was disrupting Rags and Teddy's love affair, and Rags tried to tell Buster to back off in the form of a nasty bite to the ear. Now that Buster's ear has healed from the Mike Tyson incident, we think the dogs will do better with just each other in Buster's home. He's the nicest, most mild-mannered dog I've ever met and Rags could learn a thing or two from him.

By the way, all the snow melted the following morning. It is currently 55 degrees and I wish it was cold and snowy, only because it's December 3 and all of Advent should be cold and snowy.

Imperfection

I saw Dr. S (ENT surgeon) last week. He officially discharged me as a patient since my nose innards have healed and I have no residual sinus symptoms. Just like Dr. C, he was very pleased with the progress. The last time I saw him was the morning I was going back to work for the first time in two weeks, and I was still pretty bruised and swollen.

The idea of the perfect face has long been defined as one with perfect symmetry. Well, below is proof that I have nothing close to a perfect face, but that I am still swollen on the right side of my face despite what other people try to tell me. It also confirms my suspicion that my left eye is a little too close to my nose than I would like, but there's no going back now. It took a while for me to notice this become of the swelling and bruising, but now I can't help thinking I look cross-eyed occasionally.

I realize my imperfect posture makes one shoulder look massively larger than the other, but get over it.

On an unrelated note, Thanksgiving was nice. Uneventful, but nice. It was my first Thanksgiving with my mom, brother, or anyone on my mom's side since 2006. The food was delicious, my pumpkin pie fudge was a hit, and it was fun playing with my cousin's twin 3-year-olds and catching up with the rest of the family. I was so tired that I went to bed around 8 that night and woke up right around midnight and could not fall back asleep. I almost got up and went to the mall, but then I remembered I hate crowds and the idea of starting Black Friday deals before dawn, so I read until I fell back asleep.

Stupidly, I had scheduled a contact re-fitting at Target Optical at 11:30 on Friday morning. Fortunately, the parking lot was less crowded than I expected and no one was in the optical department. I finally got daily contacts since my two-week contacts weren't even lasting me a week. I guess the dryness and grittiness is a residual effect of the surgery and has a lot to do with the fact that my eyelids don't close at tightly anymore (another reason for the second surgery next year), so my wallet is unhappy but my eyes are thrilled with daily contacts (Acuvue 1-Day Moist, to be exact).

Juls and I had already done plenty of shopping on Wednesday, so Friday we got our nails done and walked around the mall but didn't buy anything. I spent the rest of the day relaxing, baking pretzel bread, and reading. I literally fell into bed at one point, and my elbow landed square on the screen of my Kindle. Needless to say, I no longer have a working Kindle. I wasn't planning on asking for anything big for Christmas (yes, my family still goes bananas with gifts), but I guess I can finally get the white Kindle keyboard I always wanted...? The one I broke was actually my mom's, but she didn't have wireless internet at the time and this Kindle was wifi-only, so I bought a 3G one and we "traded." It lasted a little more than a year, which meant it had a good run but was just out of warranty. I found a company online willing to give me $15 for it. Better than nothing, right?

I will leave you with this amazeballs photo I took of the moon last night. I'm doing the Fat Mum Slim Photo A Day Challenge, and yesterday's was "sky." When I remembered around 9 p.m. that I still hadn't taken a photo, I knew it was too late to try and capture anything decent with my iPhone's camera so I brought my Nikon Coolpix L810 outside on the tripod and used the ridiculous zoom. The second photo is simply exposure- and color-corrected, courtesy of my co-worker. I guess people steal photos (who knew?) so I watermarked them, which is something I've never done before. I'm pretty proud of this photo but even more pleased with the camera itself.

Click to view full size.

Click to view full size.

Karma and Good Samaritans

I planned to be lazy today, but then I remembered that I'm doing a juice fast tomorrow and Monday and had no fresh produce for it. So I threw on some clothes and hit the grocery store...along with every other human within a 10-mile radius. I forgot it's also the Saturday before Thanksgiving, so I was dodged carts full of turkeys, potatoes, and brownie mix. Except I was only in the produce section. I spent $50 on fresh fruits and vegetables, including: carrots, apples, ginger root, lemons, limes, cucumbers, celery, kale, plum tomatoes (yuck), red bell peppers, red onions, parsley, Swiss chard, clementines, sweet potatoes, beets, oranges, grapes, blackberries, spinach, jalapenos, radishes, broccoli, and cabbage.

Worth every calorie.

I also needed to get some ingredients for the pumpkin pie fudge I'm bringing to Thanksgiving dinner, and that's when I spotted the Hostess endcap, reduced to a single shelf. Naturally, I grabbed the last package of cupcakes - something I haven't had in probably six or eight years, and most likely will never have again (even if someone else buys Hostess or their recipes). I watched a girl fill her cart with Drake's products. I almost said something and then I Googled "Drake's" and realized they are owned by Hostess, so it's a good thing I kept my mouth shut.

I got $40 cash back because I was heading to the seamstress to get some pants tailored, and she only takes cash or check. I shoved the two 20s in my pocket and made my way to the car with a cart full of produce and cupcakes, when a guy came running up to me out of breath. "Did you just drop some money?" he asked. And that's when I panicked. I jammed my hands in my pockets and came up empty. "Yes! I had $40!" I said, nearing tears. I always lose stuff but not money. He handed me my money back and said, "It fell out back there." I almost hugged him. I even said, "God bless you," because I had already said, "Thank you," about six times. I just kinda stood there in the middle of the parking lot for a minute, feeling the same way I recall feeling after I watched a pickup truck flip on an icy road one afternoon about six or seven years ago when I was taking the back roads from campus to my shift at Target. I remember pulling over even after he climbed out the back window and plenty of Good Samaritans helped him out and called 911. I wasn't helping, but I was too stunned to drive. That's how I felt today - my money was safely back in my possession but I was too stunned to move for a few moments. Or maybe the phrase "Good Samaritan" was stuck in my head and that's why I thought of that accident.

Finally, I loaded my bags into my car and started toward the cart return area. An older guy was also heading that way, and he put his hand out and said, "I'll take it for you." I was again stunned. People aren't nice like this anymore, especially not in New England. Especially in a crowded parking lot on a busy shopping day. I thanked him profusely and wished him a great day. I got in my car and sat there fighting tears. I had only walked out of the grocery store about 90 seconds earlier, and in those 90 seconds, I came into contact with two men who I thought no longer existed - good old-fashioned polite men. It's not like I was wearing hot pants with my boobs hanging out. I was in jeans, flats, and my North Face with unwashed hair up in a bun and no makeup. They weren't being nice to me to try to get my number. They were just being nice.

What did I do to deserve this? I believe in Karma, but I haven't done anything super nice lately. I bought my co-workers Starbucks cake pops yesterday. I climbed up the shelves in the yogurt section a few days ago to help an elderly lady get the yogurt she wanted but couldn't reach (I couldn't reach either, hence the climbing). But those are things I would do anyway.

All I know is that these two men have good Karma coming their way, and now it's my turn to pay it forward.

Woe is Me

I think I need to rename this blog: Kelly's Medical Woes.

I saw Dr. C (oculofacial surgeon) this morning for my "it's been seven weeks since your surgery" appointment. The upper eyelid stitches (which dissolved) are completely healed and the scars are completely invisible, which is somewhat surprising since I am so fair-skinned and tend to get puffy, pink scars from paper cuts or razor mishaps.

Everything else is as it should be. The feeling on the right side of my face continues to return in the form of that pins & needles feeling when your foot wakes up after having fallen asleep. It's not painful, but it's also not comfortable, and it's pretty constant. He said this could last up to a year. Oh well.

I have very minor double vision when I look as far up as I can without moving my head. Who cares? I don't, and he doesn't either, because who the heck looks all the way up without moving their head? So we're not touching that, and he continued to profess how delighted he was that I didn't have any double vision that affected my eyesight or daily living. He was quite concerned this would happen as a result of removing so much bone and fat.

He wants to wait six months before performing the upper eyelid surgery, which I do need, but he said there is still some swelling that will continue to improve over the next few months. He also doesn't want to perform any surgeries while my thyroid levels are unstable, which they continue to be. I'm just glad they behaved the week of my surgery, for the first and only time in three years. I was really hoping I could have the surgery soon, but I agree it's best to wait until all the swelling is gone and my levels are stable.

My proptosis before surgery was 23mm in the left eye, 25mm in the right eye. Both eyes are now sitting pretty at 19mm. I have no dry, only some dryness, moreso than before surgery. I can no longer wear my two-week contacts for the full two weeks…more like 10 days. I am going to inquire with my optometrist about dailies, at least for the next few months. The surgeon gave me drops but I imagine the dryness is because of the minor upper eyelid retraction.

All in all, he is pleased with his work and even more pleased with my progress and realistic outlook on my situation. He knows I'm eager to be done with surgeries and back to my pre-TED face, but he appreciates that I am educated and informed on how this whole process needs to go.

So since that's settled, I decided to call my primary care physician and focus on my newest medical woe: these tiny little invisible bumps all over my body (except my face) that feel like goosebumps. They appeared about a week ago out of nowhere. It honestly felt like I had forgotten to shave my legs, and I almost got back in the shower to shave them when I was like, "Wait, I DID shave." Now they are everywhere. Mostly my skin feels dry, tight, and occasionally itchy, but then why aren't they red? Clearly my skin is just pissed to be back in the frigid New England weather, even though the rest of my body is jumping for joy because it's no longer sweating in November. So I have to go to the doctor tomorrow morning and find out what's wrong with my poor skin. Google tells me it's keratosis pilaris (which people often refer to as "KP" - my initials), but Google Images tell me it's not, because mine aren't red at all. You can't see them at all, only feel them. Gross? Yep.

I really thought I was dying today. It turns out I was just losing my mind. I kept seeing this clumpy white stuff fall onto my pants and desk. I checked the mirror - no dandruff. My neck has been really itchy from those bumps, so then I panicked thinking every time I scratched my neck, something was coming out of me. I checked the mirror - nothing on my neck except angry red scratches. Finally I took a step back from the mirror (I'm so short that unless I'm right up against it on my tiptoes, I can only see the top of my head) and saw the source: a clump of deodorant on my sweater. I guess I got it on myself this morning while getting ready, and no one at the doctor's office or in my office bothered to point it out, probably because my hair partially covered it. Either way, I am not dying, just a sloppy klutz.

Pup Blood

A few nights ago, I noticed Rags limping and favoring his front left paw. I even saw some blood when I took a closer look. It turned out he had broken his dew claw (the weird thumb-like one) in half, but the broken half was still attached about 50%. He hates having his nails cut and hasn't let anyone cut them in years. He now demands that his groomer uses the Dremel drill/file instead. So I knew this wasn't going to be a fun experience.

With my brother holding down Rags' head, I was able to clip part of the broken nail off. However, he was in so much pain that he was trying to attack the clippers and he was clearly stressed out beyond his max, so I wrapped the paw in paper towels and taped it up since it was bleeding a bit. He was perfectly content to be carried around the rest of the night.

Lots of Raggies blood

Wednesday night, he was in obvious pain still, so I enlisted the help of my dad this time, and cut the nail below the broken part so it would stop dragging and getting stuck on the rug and moving every time he took a step. It bled A LOT. I couldn't find any cornstarch even though I know I bought some, but some flour on the nail stopped the bleeding. He seemed fine and was happy to run around and play, so I didn't worry about it.

I called his vet yesterday to ensure he didn't need an appointment. I was told unless it started to look infected (red or swollen), there was nothing to do until the nail slowly grew back.

Last night, I noticed that the "quick" is now looking fleshy, red, and swollen. And the vet can't fit me in after work tonight, and I can't leave at noon. I would if Rags seemed sick, but he is fine and I am probably just being dramatic. Even if it is infected, he doesn't have a fever (I checked) and he's acting like his usual self, so I got us an appointment for 9:45 tomorrow morning.

Things Can Only Get Better

That's what you say when you're having a bad day, right? "Things can only get better from here."?

I shouldn't say I had a bay day. I'm healthy with a good job and a roof over my head and a family who loves me. However, I had some bad luck yesterday. It really started Wednesday night.

After doing a Jillian Michaels workout dvd and stuffing my face with a healthy dinner of tilapia and steamed vegetables afterward, I jacked the heat up in my room so it would be nice and toasty when I got out of the shower and settled in for the night. Except my heat never kicked on. My dad said there is something wrong with the thermostat, but by that point, it was too late to start pulling out wires or making trips to the hardware store. So I froze. I wore several layers to bed - leggings under sweatpants, a tank top, long-sleeved shirt and a hoodie. I ran my warm mist humidifier on full blast just to get the heat from the steam. And I still woke up several times because I was so cold. I buried Rags under three blankets and eventually he decided he was still too cold and got under the covers with me. I shouldn't be complaining since people along the coast haven't had power for days, but I've also developed Floridian blood after five years of being a resident there, so I haven't reacclimated to the cold yet. Brrr...

Yesterday morning, I started my car using the remote starter like I always do when it's really cold or really hot. However, when I got in 15 minutes later, the radio and lights were the only things that actually turned on. This has happened a few times now. So no big deal, I turned my car on the old-fashioned way and blasted the defroster. I got out so I could clean the snow off my windows. While I'm standing there brushing off the snow, the remote starter decides it's time to lock my doors. With my car running. While I'm standing outside. And my phone and purse are locked in the car. OK, this is manageable. Go back inside and grab the spare key. Except, I locked the house before I left like I always do. Oh wow it's cold. Fortunately I was fully decked out in my heavy tweed coat, boots, gloves, scarf, and hat. I was able to "break in" to the house and get my spare key and get off to work, but it was a scary few minutes.

I get to work, and my office (which is really just a house that was built in the late 1800s) is freezing. I jacked the heat way up, and within a few minutes everyone else's offices are saunas while mine is an icebox. Maintenance came and described a whole bunch of mumbo jumbo, but it took an hour for my office to heat up and even then, it quickly got cold again when we had to turn down the office-wide thermostat because everyone else was sweating. This is the exact opposite from last winter, when I wore tank tops under sweaters and still had to open my window to survive the 110-degree heat the furnace next to my desk pumped out.

During this heat fiasco, I went downstairs to make my oatmeal in the microwave. Except, I was thinking about how cold I was and put about three times too much water into the bowl, thus ruining my oatmeal beyond repair. So I was forced to go to Starbucks (on campus) and get a bagel. Not that I minded the deliciousness of the bagel, but it's not what I'm supposed to be eating for breakfast anymore. I scooped out most of the doughy part and used reduced fat cream cheese, but still felt guilty about it.

When I got home last night, I was chilled to the bone and planned to skip a workout and just get straight into to some warm clothes, have a nice homemade dinner, and get under my covers in my finally warm room. Except the heat still isn't working. I didn't even bother to change out of my work clothes, I just grabbed my keys and decided to go to Panera or somewhere to keep warm and get some food. My brother was walking in as I was walking out, so we ended up going to this Mexican place in Enfield that is just phenomenal. A few tequila shots, a margarita, a nice meal, and some fried ice cream warmed me right up. Well, the ice cream didn't warm me up but the tequila had already taken care of that for the next several hours. In fact, I woke up in what I thought was the middle of the night. Turns out it was actually 11:30 p.m. but I felt like I had been asleep for several hours (really just two-and-a-half). I actually had to remove a layer of clothing in order to go back to sleep comfortably.

Here's to the warm (60+ degree) weather that's supposed to arrive tomorrow and last for a few days, probably just in time for my heat to start working again!

Biking with a Broken Butt

So I'm finally taking this weight loss thing seriously. I've been eating really well lately and exercising every day. Monday night I went to a step aerobics class. I still haven't received the cross trainers I ordered almost two weeks ago because of Hurricane Sandy, so I was forced to wear my running shoes and that sucked, but the class was fun and quite the workout. Last night, I decided to go to my first spin class ever. It wasn't so hard, but I kinda forgot about my broken tailbone. It's only been eight weeks and that's the first time I've been on a bike of any sorts since the injury, and boy did my tush hate me after an hourlong class. During parts of the class/course (you adjust the resistance to pretend you're riding up a hill and whatnot), we'd stand up on the pedals. That was nice relief, but as soon as I sat back down, the pain was unreal. I guess the doctor wasn't kidding when she said this is one of those injuries that can take months or years to heal.

Either way, I felt great afterward. Tired, drained, and sore (probably from both hot yoga on Sunday morning and aerobics Monday) but exhilarated  My plan was to go home, have a small dinner, shower, and settle in to watch the election results. However, I completely forgot about a Junior League conference call, so I did that while eating, and by the time we finished, results were already starting to pour in and I could not tear myself away. I would have fallen asleep in my sweaty gym clothes had the house not been -5238 degrees. I forced myself to change into clean, warm, dry clothes but when the election was finally called shortly after 11 p.m., I gave up all intentions of good hygiene. To be honest, I didn't break much of a sweat during spin because I was babying my poor rear, so I wasn't THAT disgusting (yes, I'm trying to convince myself as much as you).

I tried to stay up to watch the Obama's and Mitt's speeches, but I woke up some time in the middle of the night (morning) and turned off the TV. I watched Scott Brown's (I always want to call him Rick Scott for some reason) concession speech, which was incredibly classy and respectful toward Elizabeth Warren, whose speech was a little too scripted for me but at least it was a victory speech.

We are expecting the first snowflakes of the season today. It won't amount to much here but if it's going to be this cold, it might as well snow! Figures that it's going to be back up to 60 this weekend. I'm finally over my cold, thanks in part to two bottles of Maximum Strength Mucinex® Fast-Max™ Cold, Flu & Sore Throat Liquid, a clean diet, lots of water, and exercise. The last part is debatable. I can't decide if one should "sweat it out" or "wait it out" but when the latter didn't work, I decided to give the former a chance. Maybe I was already starting to recover, but I have to believe that getting exercise when we're only a little bit sick is a good way to tell our bodies to stop whining.

Bad Non-Thyroid

I have the most unruly, nonexistant thyroid ever. I had labs drawn last week, and my endocrinologist's office called on Tuesday to tell me I need to start a lower dose of Synthroid (synthetic thyroid hormone replacement) because my levels show that I am hypERthyroid again. Wtf?!

Let's review this timeline again:
July 2009 - symptoms begin, Kelly is convinced she has a tapeworm based on eating buttloads of food yet losing weight by the day. She poops in a jar and doctor says she's fine. She enjoys this random weight loss.
February 2010 - Kelly ends up in ER after a resting heart rate of 150+ for more than 24 hours. Diagnosed with Graves' disease, and finds out it's one of the most severe cases her physician has ever seen.
February 2011 - Kelly swallows a radioactive pill that will eventually kill her thyroid.
August 2011 - Pill finally works. Kelly becomes hypOthyroid the same week her eyes bug out of her head.
August 2011-August 2012 - Kelly and her endocrinologists struggle to find the correct dose of Synthroid. First she becomes hypER and endocrinologist continues to lower dose every six weeks. After a three-month hiatus from doctor's appointments and bloodwork, Kelly finds out she is hypO again and needs a higher dose.
August 2012 - For the first time in a long time (3+ years), Kelly has achieved euthyroid - meaning her thyroid levels are normal.
October 2012 - Just kidding.

I literally refilled my $20 prescription two weeks ago. I am supposed to be using my insurance company's mail order pharmacy, but I can't. The minimum order is 90 days, but I haven't been on the same dose for more than two months yet, so my doctor won't write a script for 90 days (which I agree with). However, instead of paying $20 for 90 days' worth through the mail order pharmacy, I have to go to CVS every month and pay $20 for 30 days' worth. I'm basically refusing to rush to CVS and get the new prescription for a lower dose until I run out of the higher dose in two weeks. I can't throw away money like that. It's not like I'm going to die, and I don't feel hypER (trust me, I know my body after three years of this).

I used to hate my thyroid and yell at it all the time. Now I don't have a thyroid to yell at! I killed the mofo and yet its ghost won't leave me alone.

Get in Shape, Girl

Despite Sandy’s best efforts, there was no “damage” to our home or property. A lot of tree limbs and small branches that died during the October 2011 snowstorm fell down, and the yard is a leafy mess again, but that’s it. Power never even flickered, but I still got two hurricane days off from work, so I’m happy to have – once again – avoided an actual hurricane (she was only a post-tropical system and we only got the outer bands).

I started feeling pretty lousy shortly after waking up on Monday. I chalked it up to my brain saying, “Oh, I get a pass today? Cool. Let’s shut it down.” I was exhausted. I napped, lounged around in my PJs, and never left the house. My crockpot meal was delicious, but I woke up around 3 a.m. with horrible stomach pains. I ended up getting sick a few times, but when I woke up Tuesday around 9:30 a.m., the pain was gone. However, within an hour or so, it was back along with all the symptoms of a head cold – blocked ears, headache, congestion (different from the post-surgery congestion I’ve had for a month), chills, extra runny nose, and just general aches and fatigue. I laid pretty low until my dietitian appointment.

My dietitian, KT, is a little bit odd, but she’s probably used to obese diabetics. She really spelled everything out for me even though I admitted I know how and what to eat, but cravings take over. We set four goals for me:
1. Eat better breakfasts so I’m not starving 90 minutes later. I can still have oatmeal, but I need to add fruit or protein to it. I am going to alternate that with an egg scramble that includes one egg plus two egg whites (or was it one yolk and two egg whites?), equal parts chopped veggies (today was red, yellow, orange peppers and mushrooms), and turkey sausage if I want it. It was great. I wasn’t ravenous at 10 a.m., and knowing I had to make real food encouraged me to wake up earlier, which makes me feel a lot less stressed in the morning. I tend to sleep until the last possible minute, and that’s a bad habit. I even drank my coffee at home instead of making it five minutes before running out the door and then drinking it at my desk. That way, I can start drinking water once I get to work, helping me get more water in.
2. Add fruit or vegetables to every meal, and by vegetables, I don’t mean starchy vegetables like potatoes, or vegetables dripping in butter or dressing. For example, last night and today for lunch I just added a spring mix/baby spinach salad (two cups) with a tablespoon of fat free dressing (Catalina is my current dressing of choice). I tend to eat poorly when I am tired or busy, and that’s every night after work, so I bought a bunch of bags of plain, frozen mixed vegetables that I can steam or microwave to add to my dinner when I get sick of salads.
3. Work out six times a week. This includes hardcore yardwork like the 1,500 calorie day I had on Sunday, but does not include cleaning the house or other small tasks. If I had tried to do an Insanity workout on Sunday, I might have died. I could barely shower after raking the entire yard and putting 40 barrels worth of leaves into the barrels.
4. Stick to 1,200 calories a day. This is total calories, so if I eat 1,500 calories but burn 300 doing a workout, I’m OK. However, the fewer calories I consume, the more weight I lose, so...you do the math.

I see her again in four weeks, which puts us at the Tuesday after Thanksgiving. Although we didn’t set this as a goal, I want to try and really cut out sweets (candy, chocolate, ice cream, pastries) between now and then, so that I can splurge a little during the holidays without destroying my progress or feeling bad. The only successful “diet” I’ve ever gone on was when I gave up all the aforementioned sweets for Lent. I think it was my junior or senior year of college, because I was working at Target. I remember bending down to “zone” (Target speak for neaten and pull products forward) a bottom shelf and my pants almost fell down. My totally hot boss noticed and said something about how small I’d gotten and I felt the best about my body that I had in a long, long time (and probably since then). I was a lot smaller to begin with, but I think I remember losing 5-10 pounds during those 40 days and realized how disgusting my eating habits were…because I didn’t do anything differently except avoid sweets. Then again, I also had a ridiculous metabolism back then and I could eat cake for dinner and not gain weight. Now, I eat dinner and then want cake.

We did agree on some alternatives to help satisfy my sweet and salty cravings without falling off the wagon entirely. For salty, I can have a dill pickle (even better since I make my own), plain popcorn (also make my own straight from the kernel with nothing but a few drops of olive oil), kale chips (love them!), pretzels, or nuts—all portion-controlled of course. For sweet, she suggested peanut butter on an apple, frozen fruit bars, any fresh fruit with either Splenda or a small bit of real sugar sprinkled on top (I don’t like using artificial sweeteners), or a banana rolled in a few chocolate chips.

I explained to KT that it’s important to me to eat “clean” while eating healthy. She asked how I felt about frozen meals like Healthy Choice and Lean Cuisines. I told her they are never filling, are loaded with sodium, and taste microwaved (because they are). I don’t know if she was suggesting them or just testing me, but I told her I won’t go that route. However, I did allow myself to buy into the frozen vegetables simply for convenience (yes, I know they lose some nutritional value when frozen) and also picked up a few refrigerated precooked chicken breasts that you can just nuke and either eat plain or add to a sandwich or meal. It sounds gross but I had one last night along with some multigrain bread and a plain salad (working on achieving that perfect plate), and it was really good.

Despite feeling like crap, I have nothing to do tonight, so I planned on doing an Insanity workout tonight (today is cardio power & resistance). I just ate my 460 calorie dinner (pasta with sauce, chicken breast, and mixed veggies), and if I work out, I am in the clear. Otherwise, I am 23 calories over because I indulged in a Mint Three Musketeers mini bar. It's going to be a tough decision. In fairness to myself, my $100 running sneakers that I purchased over the summer are great for running, but terrible for Insanity. Even Shaun T. told me I needed cross-trainers, but I ignored him. I think I'll wait, not because I'm lazy, but because it's so painful in the arches of my feet and then later on I get shin splints.

Hurricane Sandy

I know, I know - I never posted a four-week post-surgery photo. I don't think I look any different from the three-week post-surgery photo, so you'll get over it. I'm feeling good minus the pain where I was previously numb.

In other news, Hurricane Sandy has been bearing down on us all day. It started to rain Sunday afternoon, and get really windy after dusk on Sunday evening. By this morning, the wind had picked up but it didn't rattle the windows until noon or so.

The college where I work canceled classes today and tomorrow, so I basically get two paid days off. That's one of the best things about working for a school - snow/hurricane days. The second best thing is getting the week off (paid) between Christmas and New Year's, as well as a four-day weekend for Easter. That's because we're also a Catholic school.

It's funny that today was my first ever hurricane day. I lived in Florida for five years, and never got one. Tropical Storm Fay was the worst tropical weather we ever got in those five years, and since the highway system wanted people to evacuate, they made all the tolls in the state free that day. So what did we do? Went to the outlets in Orlando where tolls normally are $10 roundtrip. It was awesome, but everyone else had the same idea, so the outlets were so packed.

My dad has been working on replacing the back half of our roof for several weeks now. It gets dark so early these days, so he has been doing a bulk of the work over the weekends. However, Dad came down with the plague (or a bad cold/flu) on Monday. Actually, my brother and I kinda thought he was dead. Dad wakes up at 4 a.m. every weekday, and maybe sleeps in till 5 on the weekends, or 6 if he's really tired or if it's rainy or snowy outside. So when I got up at 7 a.m. and realized the dogs hadn't been out yet and that Dad hadn't gotten out of bed yet, I panicked. I knocked on his door and heard this awful-sounding, "Yeahhhh...?" I asked if he was OK, and then Shaggy started going bananas, but I breathed a sigh of relief. Turns out he was still within the two week period after his flu shot so he wasn't protected yet, and he is still fighting something nasty. I assume it's the flu because I'm still healthy - I got a flu shot but cold shots don't exist yet.

Regardless, Dad decided to get back on the roof this weekend to make sure our house didn't leak when Sandy rolled into town. We also spent several hours on Friday and Saturday, and all day Sunday, raking leaves. I think we filled all nine barrels five or six times over while making trips to and from the town's leaf dump. If you looked at our lawn today, you'd never know we raked a single leaf...until you looked at anyone else's yard on the street. Sandy isn't helping. A lot of branches were killed during the October snowstorm last year but never fell down so every time the wind blows hard, one comes crashing down either directly into the ground like a spear, or bouncing off the roof first, sending me into heart attack mode thinking the ceilings are caving in.

Storm prep

I was worried we'd lose power sometime today, so I furiously baked four dozen cookies this morning and threw one of my frozen crockpot meals into the slow cooker. Fortunately, we haven't lost power yet (knock on wood), so we got to enjoy a nice home-cooked dinner. I also took a long, hot shower even though I took one before bed last night because who knows when I'll get another one.

Oh, the Memories

Last weekend, the girls and I were talking about our high school days - the things we did, the boys we dated, the friends we had, and the memories we made. I can't stand the people in their late 20s who obsess over high school and actually believe those were the best years of their lives. However, my friends and I were blessed to find each other and still maintain various levels of friendships 14 years later. One of the things we kept talking about were pictures. We all took hundreds of pictures on a weekly basis, but this was back before Facebook. I think we all had Shutterfly or Photobucket accounts, but I decided to make a website of all of our photos.

Believe it or not, without a single update since 2006, the site still exists. I present you with one of the first websites I ever created: my photo website. This was ever before websites needed title tags, so it doesn't even have a name. I wonder if I could still access this account?

And another gem, from a March 2004 AOL Instant Messenger chat (screen names changed to protect the innocent):

"Kelly: and you and i will find an awesome pr school and live next door together forever
Juls: sounds like a plan to me"

A Pain in the...Face?

It is with great pleasure that I announce that my face hurts. "But pain sucks," you say. Ah, but when you haven't been able to feel the right side of your face for the last four weeks, any amount of feeling is welcomed, including pain. I mean, it doesn't feel good and it's certainly not comfortable but last night, I started experiencing some intense tingling following by constant pain. Before, it was just shooting pains that lasted mere seconds. The pain has gotten so intense in the past 24 hours that I can't use my Sonicare toothbrush because the vibration is too painful in that particular part of my mouth/gums where I previously had no feeling.

They told me the numbness could last up to six months, so if some small part of face is healing already, that's great. Let's be clear, though: I'm still pissed Dr. C didn't tell me this was a possible side effect. However, I have forgiven him.

By the way, I promise a four-week post-op photo update later.
*Edit: I lied. I started Insanity when I got home and even though it was only the Fit Test, I was not cute afterward. You'll have to settle for a four-week-plus-one-day photo tomorrow.

Exactly What the Doctor Ordered

This past weekend was exactly what I needed. I started writing this post (including the subject line) before I talked to my mom, but when I told her all about my weekend her response was, "Just what the doctor ordered." Like mother, like daughter!

Not only was it great to see the girls (and Drew) and catch up and even meet new friends, it was great to leave the house for more than a day at work or a few hours running errands, which I haven't done in more than a month. I'm feeling great. I'm not napping more than an hour or two a week, I'm sticking to my Mondays and Thursdays yoga schedule, and I'm going to look into a short-term gym membership. Maybe just back at the Y, and I can start going before work on the days I don't go to yoga and maybe do something else on the weekends like I have been meaning to - hikes and other winteresque New England things like cross-county skiing, snowshoeing, etc., now that winter weather is probably only weeks away.

I am back to 40 hours a week (or more) at work. I still have no feeling on the right side of my face except for the occasional itch (that I can't scratch) or shooting pain. I have some cold-like symptoms that have persisted since the surgery, but apparently that's normal. My headaches are greatly reduced. I didn't have one all weekend...or if I did, I was too busy having fun to notice.

Most of you know that I am presently living "at home." Apparently the term for someone like me is "boomerang kid." After living on my own since two weeks after graduating college (and all but the summers during college), I moved back into my childhood home in February. For starters, I was offered my job while still working at my job in Florida, so I obviously didn't have time to find an apartment from 1,500 miles away while packing and trying to finish out my last two weeks at work. Secondly, I knew I was going to be having this major surgery. I really thought it was going to be sooner than September but it wasn't so here I am, still living at home. I am actively searching and should be out of there by January 1 (at least that's my goal/plan), but for now, I'm a boomeranger - for better or worse.

Anyway, my point was that since February, I am quite certain my dad has not slept past 4 a.m. on a weekday except for once when he overslept and woke up around 5 a.m. I know this because around 4:03 a.m. every morning, he quietly opens my door and Rags happily leaps off the bed to go for his first walk of the day with my dad. Occasionally, Rags is tired and doesn't want to get up right away, or he is being a ridiculously spoiled dog and is sleeping under my covers and doesn't see/hear the door open. On weekends, my dad may sleep till 6 or so, but I'm always still so deeply asleep I don't notice. Half the time I wake up, thinking it's the middle of the night, and wonder where Rags is. Then I see the time and realize he's either on a walk or eating breakfast, because he's usually right back in bed by 4:30 a.m. when Dad leaves for work (he's nuts - don't ask).

This morning, when I woke up just before 7 a.m., Rags was on the bed. However, my door was shut tight and he was still "naked" - meaning he wasn't wearing his harness (he doesn't wear it to bed). I looked out the window and saw my dad's car still in the driveway. I rechecked the time. Yup, 6:52 a.m. I panicked. Of course, I'm reasonable and rational, so the first thought that went through my head is, "Dad is dead." His bedroom door was shut tight, so I knocked and Shaggy barked. Still no response so I cracked the door open. "Dad? Are you OK?" Fortunately, he quickly responded, "I'm sick," in a barely audible voice because my fingers were on my iPhone, ready to call 911. My dad rarely gets sick. He never takes sick days even if he is. And he never sleeps in. So you will understand my assumption was not that irrational.

I took the dogs for a quick morning walk because I didn't have a whole lot of time. I'm one of those people who will sleep as late as I can, calculating minutes and seconds in my head. I shower at night so all I really need to do in the morning is wash my face, brush my teeth, straighten my hair, apply makeup (all while watching the Today Show), let the dogs out for a quick pee (since it's now been four hours since their last potty break), make my coffee and head out the door (don't worry, I eat breakfast as soon as I get to my desk - instant oatmeal). Fortunately, I still made it out the door by 8:05, which is actually earlier than most days. I was the first one to the office, so it all worked out. Except I hate being the last one to leave and the first one to arrive. It's so depressing, but it's also because I like to be punctual and I am still playing catch up from my two weeks off and two weeks of part-time, so I had to force myself to leave on time yesterday.

Speaking of yesterday, I went to a moderate yoga class. There were only maybe eight people in class, which is hardly anything compared to most classes at the studio. Then again, it was 5:45 on a Monday evening, so I imagine most people are still stuck at work or too cranky about the weekend being over to come to yoga. I don't think I can make that class a regular thing because it was a small miracle that I could leave work on time (4:30) yesterday. Either way, it was a challenge for once. I have the slightest soreness in my upper thighs, butt, and lower back today. I definitely needed the challenge. Pretty soon, I'll work my way back up to ashtanga (hot) yoga. For now, I'm sticking to some moderate classes and a good, clean diet.

I'll Wash Your Eye Out with Soap

...wait, no. That's not right. Well actually, it is for me. It feels like I got soap in my right eye. It's only felt like this for a few hours, and it doesn't hurt as much as it's just strange and uncomfortable, but it caused me to have a hard time fully relaxing during shavasana (the guided meditation/nap at the end of yoga). And during downward dog, I was trying to look at my left armpit without moving my head (don't ask) and that same eye was killing with the effort. Not sure what's going on there, but I did work six hours today, which is the longest I've worked in almost a month. Crazy, huh? I should be back to regular hours on Monday but I haven't heard back from Dr. C and HR requires a letter from him so we'll see. Not that I mind part-time but my paycheck is going to start taking a hit soon - I'm close to using up all my time off.

Anyway, back to yoga. I bought a pass for one month of unlimited yoga. It made much more sense economically, especially since I really like the Monday and Thursday classes, but I'm going to try and go even more often. I don't know that I'm strong enough for lifting or my Jillian Michaels DVDs yet, and yoga always helps me become stronger without even realizing it, so I'm going to stick with that for now. I'm going to go to some more challenging classes (I've been going to gentle classes for the last two weeks) and work my way back up to my pre-surgery strength and endurance.

Without meaning today, I went vegetarian today. Just for the day. I normally have some sort of meat or fish for lunch or dinner, usually both. Here is what I ate today, for inquiring minds:

I promise I didn't go to McDonald's, but I did go to Semolina Bread Company and have their California Vegetarian Wrap sans tomatoes. It sounded good, so I didn't care that there was no meat. I actually ate half for lunch and half after yoga, if you really want to know. And yes, I did eat a whopping 25% of my soup before I decided it was gross and threw it away. And that's where I had the Orange Hi-C, but hardly anyone sells that anymore, so I found it under McDonald's. And after eating half my wrap, I went to the new fro-yo place in town, and the cookie dough bites were just screaming my name. The cupcake flavored fro-yo, however, was disappointing. It tasted almost sour. I was expecting something like Coldstone's cake batter or sweet cream but it was weird.

I eat a lot of carbs. I love carbs. And sugar isn't on there, but I know I eat too much sugar. I'm really looking forward to meeting with the dietitian. I start my official food diary on Monday. Thank goodness, because the girls decided we're having a cookout on Saturday and the theme is surf 'n turf - scallops and steaks. Then the list of items the girls are bringing for brunch the next morning includes breakfast pizza, a strawberry & cream cheese pastry, muffins, French toast, and my contribution - sunrise mimosas. That will be a day I don't track what I eat!

Diary of a Foodie

So I got an appointment with a well-known dietitian. I didn't choose her; my physician did. My appointment is a week from Tuesday, and they asked that I keep a food journal with everything I eat and drink for the week leading up to my appointment, and bring it with me. Since the point is to start eating better and getting back in shape, I decided I will make this food journal public. I already have an account on MyFitnessPal, but I've always had it on lockdown. I still plan to keep it private (it includes my weight and other personal health information), but I am going to post that one week journal on here. My hope is that I will make healthier decisions knowing that the whole world (or the 12 people who read this) will be judging my food choices.

I worked until almost 2 p.m. today. Every day, I work a few minutes longer. My goal is to be back to full time on Monday, but I'm not pressuring myself. HR and my boss fully support me either way. I feel good, but I still am getting moderate (rarely severe) headaches and my eyes quite easily.

On another note, Rags is on another underwear and dirty tissue binge. I think he needs therapy. He eats two cups of food every day, which is twice as much as he ate when we lived in Florida, but hasn't gained any weight...probably because he goes for 17 walks a day.

I'm really looking forward to going to Boston this weekend to see Juls and Annie, and the other Julia, plus Drew and baby. I haven't seen either one of them since...I think their wedding in December 2007? Crazy. The next morning, Julia is having a bunch of girlfriends over for brunch. I will be providing sunrise mimosas unless I drink all the champagne the night before, which may happen if Florida loses to South Carolina.

I mailed in my absentee ballot today. Since we weren't sure what the outcome of my surgery would be, I applied for an absentee ballot.

Well, I'm out of (non-) exciting things to write about. My head is throbbing and the house is freezing, so it's time for a hot shower and bed.

Back in the Saddle

Friday night, I decided that getting back on track would start this past weekend. I planned to go to 9 a.m. yoga on Saturday, but when I woke up and looked at the clock, it was 8:59 a.m. Last week wore me out. I slept 11 hours last night. So instead, I made a healthy breakfast and some pumpkin coffee and decided that since it was 28 degrees out, I would do some yoga at home instead. I did, and by then it had warmed up, so I took the dogs outside for some fresh air. I attempted to both mow the lawn and use the leaf blower, but neither machine would start, so I opted for 15 minutes of raking a tiny little sliver of the lawn instead. I was exhausted and starving after such a small exertion, and woke up Sunday sore in my whole upper body. I guess surgery and nearly a month of no physical activity really does kick your butt. I did make it to yoga Monday night, so I want to try and go every Thursday and Monday night.

I got an email Friday night while attempting to determine why the dryer turns on and spins but won't heat up (I failed, by the way) letting me know I had been chosen to receive a scholarship to the GDATF annual conference in San Diego at the end of the month. Unfortunately, I had to pass it on but someone else will still get the opportunity to go in my stead. The scholarship covers the $260 conference fees and almost all of my meals Friday-Sunday, but not the hotel ($109/night x three nights) or the flight, which I could not find for less than $700 or without missing two days of work, and I simply can't miss any more work.

You know when you wake up and your eyes are filled with junk? Eye boogers, as I call them? Well I wake up every morning feelings like there is all this junk in my eyes. There usually is, but even after I wipe out the eye boogers, my eyes still feel full and tight as if I just opened them for the first time all morning. It's a strange feeling. I also wake up with a headache almost every morning, but I always have. I think it's more mold and allergies than eye-related, but my eye pain only makes it worse. On a positive note, I am back to wearing contacts now! I hate how I look in glasses and they were really starting to bother my ears and the bridge of my nose, so I'm happy to be a contact wearer again. It was scary putting them in for the first time in more than two weeks, but I was surprised to realize there was no discomfort. I have to go back so much further (a whole five millimeters!) to put them in and take them out, and since my eyes no longer bulge, I have to work a little harder to get them out. I used to just be able to open my eye and slide the contact right off, but now that my eyes are "normal," they don't fall out when I blink anymore. It's a good problem to have.

I decided that since my bruises are completely faded, it's not that exciting to see the change from day to day, so I will only be taking and posting photos on a weekly basis from now on. Since today is three weeks post-op, I documented what I look like both smiling and...not smiling? My eyes are not symmetrical, but that could be because of the additional swelling on the right side. Or not. Only time will tell, but either way, it'll all be corrected in a few months.

I can't seem to get rid of the congestion and nasal discharge, but I am told this is all normal after plain old sinus surgery, let alone having all kinds of stuff shoved up your nose and down your cheeks and behind your eyes, taking out lots of bone and fat from your head, and having your ethmoid sinuses taken out and put back in. In doing some online research to see what other hospitals and surgeons tell their patients, I read several warnings about not drinking through a straw after endonasal sinus surgery. Oops. I couldn't have NOT used a straw after my surgery. Nasal surgery doesn't result in a numb face and mouth, but the work that Dr. C did does, so I guess the numbness and need for a straw in order to drink trumps the risk of damaging my sinuses. I have had shooting pain through my far right lip and cheek that goes away after a few seconds, and I hope it means feeling will be returning soon.

Keeping Hallmark in Business

I'm a sucker for greeting cards. I give them for every occasion, and love getting them. Half the guys I have dated hate them, while the other half ( it sounds like I've dated 18 guys or something) always gave them, so maybe they hated them but knew I liked them.

Anyway, I usually recycle cards because I am not a pack rat, but I just had to get a photo of some of the recent cards I received for surgery and my birthday, because they were just too great to toss without remembering.

 This one is from my mom. She has been having a really hard time with her health lately, but she can still craft like a maniac. So of course she made my birthday card. I love the shoes, and now I wish they actually existed. Inside the card were gift cards to Stop & Shop and Dunkin Donuts, so the inside was almost as good as the front!

 This one is from KD. It was a combination get well/birthday card. She usually makes her cards from scrapbooking materials, and I assumed this one was, too. When I grabbed it from the mailbox, the ladybug was poking through the envelope and I worried that the post office had ruined her hard work. Either way, it was adorable and all hand-written on the inside.

 Let's be honest: men don't usually have a way with words. I'm perfectly OK with men letting Hallmark do the hard work for them. The outside of this card is pretty, but the inside was so fitting. It was all about how I've been through some tough times but turned out OK so far. I have to agree.

However, the best card ever award goes to Lauren. This card could not be more fitting or hilarious. I am forever correcting people's grammar (shut up, blog doesn't count) and Kristen and Lauren were usually there for the criticisms.

So feel free to send cards my way for any occasion or no occasion at all, and I will gladly return the favor.

Downward Dog with Decompressed Orbits

Today was another frustrating day at work. Then, when I got home, I had several emails letting me know I sent out a press release with a typo. I was exhausted and had the worst eye pain this morning. I debated calling in, but decided I could manage a few hours. So it doesn't really surprise me that I made a big mistake. Except when I realized I had copied and pasted the information from a co-worker, and he was the one who made the typo. That doesn't excuse my error - I still should have checked and rechecked, but today was not my day. Ugh. I almost feel bad, but then I don't, because I'm doing my best and people make mistakes.

I got a flu shot this evening. It was free from the town but I had to go to the senior center to get it. When I walked in, I was handed a piece of paper with "46" on it. I looked around and saw a bunch of old people sitting on couches and in armchairs. Forty-five of them to be exact. Once my vision cleared, I realized I wasn't the only person younger than 65, but I was definitely the youngest minus the children there with their parents. Whatever. It was for a flu shot. For free. My number was accurate, because about 46 minutes later, I was walking out protected from influenza.

I decided to go to yoga tonight. It was a gentle kripalu (like hatha) class with the owner of the studio. I adore her, and I think I'm close in age to her daughter, so we always have this moment when we see each other. The last time I went was exactly a month ago when I fell down the stairs and broke my tailbone in two places, but didn't realize it, so I went to yoga anyway. Even tonight, my butt hurt so bad when I did boat pose. I think my tailbone benefited from me being in bed for two weeks straight, but now it's time to start getting my strength and endurance back. I worried my eyes would bother me, but I took my glasses off and tried not to think about it, and it worked! I got some tissue dust in my eye so I kept rubbing it for the first few minutes, but eventually it worked itself out and I had a very good 75 minutes of peace, stretching, and relaxation. Afterward, Sheila came over and complimented me on my practice. I surprised myself. I thought I would be rusty about a month without yoga, but it's like riding a bike, but even easier to pick up where you left off. I showed Sheila what is left of my bruises (tiny pink lines) and answered her questions about thyroid eye disease and my surgery. She knew about my Graves, but we had never talked about my eyes before. It's funny, anyone who knows about Graves or TED, or is in the health care profession, would take one look at me and know I had Graves. Everyone else who didn't know me before TED would just think I had big eyes. So who knows what Sheila knew or thought, but she seemed happy to see me and I was so happy to be back in the studio.

Tomorrow I can start wearing my contacts again, but I don't really want to fight with my eyes in the morning before work, so I probably won't try until after work or even over the weekend. It's been a long time since my eyes weren't irritated by the TED, and I don't want to get discouraged in case they are still irritated from the surgery. My corneas themselves don't hurt, but I also have barely touched my eyes except to do the massaging of my lower lids and to put ice on them, so who knows how they'll react to foreign objects. Juls is looking into Lasik later this month, and it's something I'd like to have a consultation on eventually, too.

Kelly and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

I forgot to eat breakfast this morning. This is what happens when I've been out of a routine for two weeks. I have been eating breakfast at home for two weeks, but usually I eat breakfast at work on weekdays. If I eat before work, I'm starving already by the time I get to my desk, so normally I heat up some oatmeal in the office or stop and get a bagel on the way. Today, I packed myself oatmeal and even remembered a spoon and a bowl, but somehow never remembered to heat it up or eat it. I also brought a mug of coffee to work, but forgot I straw so I walked over to the Starbucks in the dining hall to steal a straw, and I guess the coffee suppressed my appetite enough that I didn't realize how hungry I was until my stomach started growling around 9:30. Finally at 10:30 I grabbed my yogurt from the fridge and when I went to get my spoon from my lunch bag, I saw the oatmeal and realized why I was so hungry. I'm hopeless...

I think I was distracted by a slight crisis at work. I rushed to make sure I got a bunch of huge projects done before I left on the Monday before my surgery, and by huge, I mean literally huge. Billboard huge. Not only did the printing company screw up, but so did the billboard company. And no one bothered to call or email me to let me know, let alone try to contact someone else in the office. So here it is, 10 days in the month, and our billboards from September are still up, instead of the new ones for October that we paid a pretty penny for. Lovely. Fortunately, I did nothing wrong and have emails to prove it, but it's still frustrating to return to 2,379 issues when I'm not 100% yet.

When I got home from work, I spent like 10 minutes staring at the mirror. For some reason, I'm not happy with my eyes today. They look too close together. My face is fat, from both swelling, the steroids, and just being overweight. I guess I was expecting a miracle in the form of looking exactly the way I did before Graves. Except I was like 30 pounds lighter and tanner and younger. And my left eye looks bigger now, when for the last two years, I've been getting used to my right eye being bigger. I think I'm just having a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (for no reason) and I'm being hard on myself. I think Drs. C and S would cry if they knew I was bashing their hard work, but something just doesn't look right today. Then again, I'm dizzy as all get-out, so maybe I'm not seeing correctly. I still can't wear makeup, and my eyelashes are actually really obnoxiously long but also blond, so when I wear mascara, it completely changes the way my eyes look. I think they look much better with mascara, but who knows if that'll still be the case. I never worried much about mascara before Graves.

So what did I eat for lunch? McDonalds. I was starving and cranky and just wanted to be able to get home and take a nap. I'm going to call my primary care doctor and see about getting in to see a nutritionist or dietitian. I know what to eat and what not to eat, but there's something in my head telling me I deserve ice cream or something greasy. I don't have the funds to reward myself with nice things so I reward myself with food, and I've never been that like until the past year or so.

After my afternoon-nap-turned-evening-coma, I realized someone put my laundry in the dryer. With a dryer sheet. Half my things I either don't dry in the dryer, and even if I do, I never use dryer sheets anymore. Not only do they ruin the dryer, they ruin your clothes. And you shouldn't use fabric softener/dryer sheets on towels, otherwise your towels won't be as absorbent. So that annoyed me. It shouldn't have been that big of a deal, but when you add it to the rest of my  Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, it really set me off.

Fortunately, my Junior League conference call was without incident. As recording secretary, I take the minutes, so I have to try and stay focused, which is so hard on a conference call when the interwebs is calling my name. It lasted 45 minutes and I was so tired. So tired that I am going to bed "early" tonight. I don't know what it is, but I've had a hard time going to be "on time" this week. Tonight will not be an issue.